After a surprise day of full-on sun shininess, today the rain came bringing with it that special silence that is so nice to run in, conducive, too, to the philosophical mantle I have put on (in case you didn't notice from the previous paragraph) since last week when I sequested myself in my version of sick bay for a few days (stomach virus). Training screeched to a halt again, this time involuntarily, and at first, I felt jolted by the stopped momentum and mourned the empty days gathering in my training log. Will I be marathon ready, was the question of the day, along with that other question that has to do with speed, since I was just beginning to get faster thanks to the training plan. So I sat down with myself and had a good talk (this was before I remembered that old story mentioned above).
Me: blank stare of disappointment.
Me: There there. It will all turn out all right, you'll see. It's time to fill out those adult-sized shoes you wear and pull your socks up. While youth can afford to huff and puff over foiled plans, you are "masters" age now, and ought to have learned to take things in stride, roll with the punches.
Me: cow-eyed stare.
Me: [Invoking, *cough*, ripping off sentences from Seneca:] Carry on, ... and hurry up, so you don't ... wind up learning as an old woman. Actually, hurry all the more since you've already started in on a topic which you could scarcely master as an old woman. 'How much progress will I achieve?' Only as much as you attempt. What are you waiting for? Wisdom doesn't come to anyone by chance ... virtue will not drop into your lap. Nor is it learned by just a bit of work or by a small effort ...
Me: You mean, despite my disappointment, I now also have to make an additional effort?!
I read somewhere that many runners are a tad obsessive, and while this happens to be true of me, it is never fun having to deal with it when the obsessiveness gets crossed by obstacles. It is weird having to admit here that even slow-pokes can be obsessive about their running, despite no laurels to obsess about, but there you are.
Since obsessiveness is an obstacle to wisdom, which is a fancy word for "living the good life", once I donned the above-mentioned philosophical mantle, I decided to try to teach my obsessiveness the LSD, after first teaching it the ABC's (cue laugh track).
Every time I feel that impulse to get sad over unplanned skipped training days, or fears over lost speed, I tell myself I am meant to act like a "master" now, and when that doesn't work (talk about anti-motivation: "act like an adult because you're suppose to be one!"), I have been following the "red thread" of passion, and playing running. There is no room for obsessiveness in play.
Let me tell you about some games! Though I'd stopped listening to music on runs, I've recently started to listen to Monstercat podcasts on some, which brings me to the playground not just because of the chiptunes on various tracks, but also because of the segments where the "Monstercat family" "says hello". The elan with which some of those youngsters take to the mic inspireds me with what I'll call a fearlessness of engaging with process.
Rather than get all philosophical (ahahaa), I'll just speak in pictures about what I mean. A form of that kind of play is parkour: which is the art of learning to move past obstacles graciously, through one's own effort. I love watching parkour videos, particularly from Slavic-speaking countries, and recommend Cherepko, "Stranik", and Polych. But to illustrate what I mean about a fearlessness of engaging with process, I'll direct anyone interested to two videos.
The first, Stranik's "dance on iron", is a beautiful meditation and filmed labour of love for the process that is training, about someone who loves training. I mention it here because as training exists as a way to move towards a goal, it could potentially spark fear when one feels that one has invested so much and it might not pay off. By contrast, this video shows an alternative path to the goal: namely, dogged, humourous love. (Speaking of humour and also of creativity, although the video moves very slowly, this other one is such a fun and Drunken Masterish and beautiful little story - but all of his videos are great.)
Sticking with Stranik, "flight memory" continues the theme of earnestness from "dance on iron" but is a more poetically unified video: portraying the reigns of training as a smiling passion. (I think in part when I write that of the Charioteer of Delphi.) This is a message for masters in training.
Brush: Misprinted Type.